i dont wanna know

n dont wanna think

cocalarus

red

21 dec 2010

masa reloaded

buba de la patinaj

am visat pesti morti sub covor

illu sux ass la 3d

nici asta nu se vede normal. si de ce e asa zimtat pe margine?

grrrrr ce de buguri n shit si nu pot macar sa export un jpg de calitate..whyyyyyyy.. cum vine picioru ala in perspectivaaaa :( seamana cu o cada. lol.

cele mai vectori

cel mai logo de cacat si un foarte rege

mai sus e varianta adaugita de marele client..gesus!
si cum il oblig sa ramana..sau ceva de genu. si ce mai slogan...

am visat

ca imi pusesem pierce in buza si mi se tot desuruba. atat.

why?

ciupercute

asian hooker

da nu ie gata.

saaait

teh noobest!

horror dreams are still here

<>dont remember for what reason my grandma which was me in the same time a trecut cu un buldozer peste trei oameni care stateau intinsi pe jos. unu din ei era tataia. they were in danger or smt so we decided to kill them by smashing their bodies. creieri, matze all over. but, amazingly, they survived, chiar daca mergeau asa striviti pe strada.< / horror >
<>mergeam intr una intr o excursie cu mai multi si opream din loc in loc. oprisem la un magazin smt pe marginea unui santz. maginea santului era o mini plaja cu nisip. erau multi intinsi pe acolo cu prosoape, enjoying the sun. apoi a venit apa with sum sufing ppl. si i a acopeit pe toti, dar nu s au ridicat. apa aia a inghetat si mergem desculta pe gheata aia. awesome. ca era foarte cald afara. end of tag.

poze de dragoste

=))

looo

ol

back to dark

horror dream

se facuse cald afara (era tot decembrie), iar eu eram in bluza cu maneca lunga si vroiam sa ma schimb. asa c am luat o pe jos spre casa si m am intalnit cu tataia. am luat un fel de autobuz, maxi-taxi. conducea un nene taran. he was speeding, si lua toate bordurile, ca mergea pe trotuar, nu pe sosea. ne a lasat in fata portii si m am grabit sa intru in casa. am urcat cele trei scari mari din fata usii si m am oprit in fata "bufetului" (arhaism pt vitrina?) pe langa poze cu mine mai mica puse in geam, era si o fotomanip facuta de mine cu putin timp in urma, in care in loc de corp avea o tableta de ciocolata. era si tataia in camera. urca mamaia scarile. avea parul lung, prins la spate. si am bagat o privire din aia inghetata ca si cum as fi vazut o fantoma (duh). Tataia m a intrebat ce s a intamplat..nu mi e dor de ea?! Si m am asezat pe pat langa ea; i am spus cat de mult mi e dor si cat de mult o iubesc, dar ca o rog sa nu mi mai apara in vise (incep sa devin din ce in ce mai constienta ca visez). A inceput sa i curga sange din ochi. Numai la cuvantul "iubesc" i s-au facut ochii albastri.

----------------------------------------------------

how do i explain this? maybe its more about love than its about grandma.

top

pentru ca e sambata si o simt ca pe o zi de luni, in loc sa ma screm sa mai scot ceva creativ din creeru meu anticreativitate, im just gonna chill, si am sa fac un top cu toti bajetii pe care mi i pot aminti si cum simt acum. caci astea se schimba asa radical ca nici n o sa mi mai aduc aminte in cativa ani. in ordine cronologica (more or less):

bogdan - dont wanna remember. eww.

sorin - coca gay

vali - still care for him, just less. im still pretty comfy around him.

dej - omg cine ar fi crezut. i barely remember i had a crush on him. he s being really friendly. he s ok.

rip - he s a grown up now. we didnt keep in touch, but he s not a bad person.

alex - i bet he s as kind.

sabin - i think he went rly coo coo.

yosh - can t believe we ever shared anthing. he s in between good n bad.

dduckz - i was quite amazed of what a bitch he can be. i always looked for excuses, but he has none.

lulu - nimic. doesn t hate me, doesn t care. same for me.

lucian - uhh era undeva mai sus, cronologic vorbind. he s a very lame person that i dont get. unu' dintr-aia care nu stie ce insemna 'get over it' (*).

mihai - we never shared anthing, but he was one important crush. care a functionat exact ca la dej. gave me the "wtf was i thinking about". si nu ca resemnare..huh.. but after all these can t help thinkin of him as a (very) little friend.

marius - i cared at that time. i was rly dissapointed. he didn t deserv it.

sabin 2 - i rly liked to listen him talking.

sorin - my little friend. i wish ud understand me. i care, but theres no way i can avoid hurting u. but i m still trying.

manu - he s the only one who was just a friend (maybe i mean "whom i didn t kiss") din toata lista. what makes him so important tho? well..in every lie theres a bit of truth. i did fell for him. just in a different way than he wished. noone hurted me so bad de la my last crush.

gigi - my only option. in sensul ca id chose him over n over again. why? coz im a superficial and he s cute. is that the only reason? no. what makes this relationship more special than the previous(es)? right now i can give tons of answers, but probably nothing.


(*) nici eu nu stiu how to get over it, apparently. but im going to learn. i know sometimes its for the best. dar la mine cuvintele astea se aplicau numai pentru gfs/bfs. its like..why would i give up candy if im ok with it? i would give up only stuff that im not ok with. so manu bacame one of those kinda stuffs. he did a lot of things i didnt think he d ever do. he even became a threaten to my balance (pfft as if my life has ever been balanced). he is no longer desired around. i just couldnt give up the old him (since i dont have many friends, it was rly a miracle to feel so good around him). so im gonna face it. this post is about him and not the rest.
i will never ever try to make friends again. they only expose me. im fine as a loner. a loner with a bf. he s enough.

how do u call this feeling?

e ca atunci cand iti ti dai seama ca n o sa se mai repete niciodata and u didnt get the best of it at that time.

i never fully understood the meaning of "never". can't comprehend and do not want to. this must be as relative as death.

lying about lying is still a lie, right?

horrible me

i did a very bad thing to Manu. i never thought id be able to do such a horrible thing.
i just wanted him to feel how i feel.

im just rly rly dissapointed in ppl and in how the react. (including myself)

magic

eram in gradina, in nucul pe care l au taiat acu 10-15 ani. apunea soarele. era o jumatate de cerc care ocupa tot orizontul. in dreapta lui erau obiecte suspendate de cer (ca niste tevi care ieseau din cer si din nori). am incercat sa le fac o poza cu telefonu si n a mers.
pe strada au trecut 2 baieti. unu mai mare, unu mai mic. le a cazut ceva din geanta si cand a cazut s a transformat intr o cruce din doua bete legata cu ata neagra, un fel de briceag si inca ceva. au luat un obiect si au zis ca de restu n au nevoie. numai ca trebuia sa ma ia cu ei now that i have touched it. m au dus la ei acasa intr un apartament unde the my-age guy put a spell in some object care se transforma ca un film pe fast forward. he kissed me si mi a zis ca we ll never see each other again, apoi mi a dat o bricheta si inca niste obiecte pe care incercam sa le indes in ghiozdan. el a plecat inainte. eu incercam sa ies cat mai repede. m am intors sa sting lumina (n a mers) si am trezit doua fete din alta camera care au iesit sa ma conduca. atunci a aparut si teh bad guy, chasing me for those objects. printre ele imi daduse si o pereche de skateshoozi din aia cu roti in talpa. so the chasing began pe scari. eu eram cumva in avantaj ca ma dadeam pe rotile alea, alunecam pe balustrade pana jos, da de fiecare data era doar cu un pas in spatele meu.

-end of part 1- :))

am prins si o secvanta in care stateam pe zidu de la mitropolie, ma uitam pe cer. n when i turned back trecusera doi baieti, dintre care unu era Manu. he didnt say hi, hoping that i didnt see him.